Before I got my wings, I was in a squadron known as the RAG (Replacement Air Group). We took classes, learned procedures and how each part of our aircraft worked at a detailed level.
We also did training flights off the San Diego coast. Sometimes we would simulate emergencies, sometimes we would work with local fighter squadrons and practice the art of Combat Air Control (how to talk to fighters, directing them to good attack position).
One day we were on one of these missions and a real emergency came up. F-14’s were doing their own training in a nearby airspace when one had catastrophic engine failure. I was sitting in the middle seat, training to be a mission commander and I had an instructor in one seat next to me and another student on the other side.
The aircraft was still visible on our radar. I didn’t know if I was supposed to but I was in the middle seat so I started giving orders to people very much senior to me. I told the student to track the aircraft and the instructor to start coordinating Search and Rescue. I asked the pilots to maximize our path to clear up the radar picture.
“And it was such a good day” was the last thing we heard from the pilot before he ejected.
We stayed on station for as long as we could while SAR looked. It took a long time and in the end, he hadn’t survived the ejection.
In the end I learned that being in command wasn’t a matter of rank. My instructor could have taken over at any time with no pushback from me, instead he let me go with it. He taught me a lot with his decision not to push me out of the way. Leadership is letting people do what they need to do (while giving them support if they aren’t cutting it).